|Self-Reflection: Current Challenges in Training (Sunday Day 2)
||[Jun. 3rd, 2007|05:34 pm]
I am finding myself slightly more comfortable this year than I was last year, and more able to open myself up to others. However, I still am finding many of the same problems, one in particular. I am insecure and inconfident about my abilities, which causes me to stumble where I would not if I only believed in myself. This furthermore causes me to want to show others how much I can do, and causes me to want to fit in and show off. This of course causes me to have too much pride. I have already seen a slight improvement in it since I have been here, but am trying to constantly work at it and I pray to God and Mary that they help me in this cause. I desire humility more than anything.
I've been having the urge the past couple of days to want to deeply understand those that I am working with, to know them at their deepest and most intimate level. While that urge is probably mostly unfulfillable, I believe I can at least partially begin and try to understand them.
I am paranoid that some people here don't like me. It has to stop. I thought the same thing at training last year and was wrong...