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strivingsoul

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Song: "Bring Me Home" (TT FuldaThursday, Day 5) [Sep. 19th, 2007|10:27 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |St. Gabrielle's Church]
[mood |nostalgiclonging]

Lord I'd rather spend 100 years
Being purified by your fire of love
Than just one day among this life
Sitting in this valley of tears

*Lord life me up and bring me home
I'm lonely here and I want only you
My home was meant for your courts alone
I'm restless till I rest in you

Lord send an angel to me
To guide me along your paths
That I may see your face sooner
When the dawn breaks this night

Lord I long for resurrection
And deliverance from sin
Lord I await your coming
When heaven comes again
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Song: Psalm 138--TT Fulda, Thursday [Aug. 9th, 2007|11:40 am]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]

*I thank You Lord with all my heart
Before all the earth to You I sing
For You are exalted over all
I bow low and praise Your name

How great is the glory of the Lord
All the peoples praise You
You are faithful You are just
All the Peoples praise You

Lord You have lifted up the lowly
You guard my life when evils rage
You save me by Your right hand
You endure unto the end
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Song: "Faith Like a Child" (TT Fulda Tuesday, Day 3) [Aug. 7th, 2007|10:32 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |St. Gabrielle School]
[mood |listlesslistless]

*Mt 5:25-34, Lk 7:1-10*

Lord I am not worthy
For you to enter under my roof
But say the word
And your servant shall be healed

*Faith like a child
Faith by one who has not seen
Faith like an innocent one
Faith like a child

Jesus healed
The servant of the Centurion
With only a word
Because his faith was strong

The woman touched Jesus' cloak
And her hemorrhage was healed
Jesus said to this faithful one
Your faith has saved you

Jesus give me faith like a child
That I may believe and be healed
Healed from the slavery of sin
Healed by only your word
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Song: "A New Heart" (TT Brainard Monday, Day 2) [Jul. 30th, 2007|08:28 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |St. Andrews Church]
[mood |restlesslonging]

*Excerpts from Psalm 86*

Lord I am so weak of heart
A broken lonely soul
I try to run to you my God
But I stumble in the dark
When I'm lost I look for comfort
In worldly things and flesh
But you are my deepest desire
So help my find my way

*Lord I want to humbly come to you
And kneel in your majesty
But unworthy am I of your love
Lord create a new heart in my
Wash me of inequities
Cleanse me of my sin
Lord give me strength to persevere
To win against the evil one

Turn your ear O Lord and give answer
For I am poor and needy
Lord you alone can heal me
For I have grieved you by my sins
This sin is fault of I alone
I have no one else to blame
In my despairing state
I can turn to you alone

Lord fill me with fire and love
So I may gaze at you
Preserve me in my weakest hour
Bring me close to You
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Song: "Move Inside My Heart" (TT Training Wednesday, Day 5) [Jun. 6th, 2007|08:20 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Sedes Sepiente Chapel, IHM Seminary]
[mood |thankfulthankful]

I can feel you once again Lord
Deep down in my heart
This wall that seemed to separate
Now somehow torn apart
I feel you move inside me
Giving strength to carry on
There's nothing I want more right now
Than your help in staying strong

*Move inside my heart Lord
So I can fall in love with you
Fill my heart with fire
Create my soul anew

Looking at your body
Gives me peace and joy
Nothing then can trouble me
While your presence I enjoy
Fill me with your Spirit
So I may understand
Your works and ways and all the things
Which are guided by your hand

Lord I could sit forever
Starring at your beauty
But I just want to love you
Just want to do my beauty
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Self Reflection: Obstacles to Discernment (TT Training Monday, Day 3) [Jun. 4th, 2007|08:18 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |Sedes Sepiente Chapel, IHM Seminary]
[mood |pensivepensive]

I have come to realize that there are obstacles in my way which prevent me from truly being able to discern my vocation in the way I would wish. I need to get over the notion that I would be good at nothing, because I will be good at whatever God is calling me to do as long as I do my vocation as he wants me to. Also, if I am truly to discern whether or not to join the seminary,I need to get it out of my mind that it is "my duty" to do so. If I enter the seminary I want to do it because I know that that is what God is calling me to do, not because it is the thing that everyone is expecting me to do because it is the "holiest" thing. I have no ideas about how to really effectively combat these obstacles besides prayer.

Prayer:

Oh Lord, help me love abundantly and endlessly as you did while you walked this earth. Lord help my wellspring of love overflow and flood the earth, touching all people. Lord help me to make an intimate connection with all I meet, and help me to understand the desires of their heart, so I may live in harmony and unity with them. You, oh Lord, are love, help me to have the fullness of love capable.
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Self-Reflection: Current Challenges in Training (Sunday Day 2) [Jun. 3rd, 2007|05:34 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Sedes Sepiente Chapel, IHM Seminary]
[mood |contemplativereflective]

I am finding myself slightly more comfortable this year than I was last year, and more able to open myself up to others. However, I still am finding many of the same problems, one in particular. I am insecure and inconfident about my abilities, which causes me to stumble where I would not if I only believed in myself. This furthermore causes me to want to show others how much I can do, and causes me to want to fit in and show off. This of course causes me to have too much pride. I have already seen a slight improvement in it since I have been here, but am trying to constantly work at it and I pray to God and Mary that they help me in this cause. I desire humility more than anything.

I've been having the urge the past couple of days to want to deeply understand those that I am working with, to know them at their deepest and most intimate level. While that urge is probably mostly unfulfillable, I believe I can at least partially begin and try to understand them.

I am paranoid that some people here don't like me. It has to stop. I thought the same thing at training last year and was wrong...
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Song: "This Goodbye"--4/19/07 [Apr. 19th, 2007|09:58 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Acoustic Cafe]
[mood |distresseddistressed]
[music |Tin Roof Sunday]

"This Goodbye"

Lord why do you take away
Those we love the most
Why do you let us feel
Then make us wish he didn't
Lord where is your plan in this

Lord help me see the purpose
Of all this pain this doubt
That this is in your plan
This going away

Lord you let us get attached
Then rip the bond away
Where does the connection stay
How long before we meet again
Before our resurrection

Lord help me see the purpose
Of this goodbye
Help me see the plan
Help me say goodbye
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Self-reflection: Spiritual Error, Dryness, and Reconciliation [Mar. 28th, 2007|11:31 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |St. Thomas More Chapel]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

Tonight coming here I saw an empty DQ to-go box sitting in the parking lot. As I walked past it I heard my conscience telling me to pick it up, and felt a strong desire to do so. Nevertheless, my prides stepped in and told me that I didn't want to carry that all the way to the chapel, and that "not many people would actually do that, so why should you?" How can I, a mere human being with so much ignorance, be prideful enough to conciously and willfully ignore and disobey the voice inside me that I know to be God?

I am such a sinner, and only through the mercy of God and the repeated and almost constant use of the amazing Sacrament of confession have i been able to come as far as I have; as litle as that has been and as far as I still have to go.

Still, Despite my constant introspection and confession, I still seem to have hit a spiritual dryspell which has been with me for a while. It's different from a dark night, even kind of the opposite. It seems as if I can always feel his presence in my life ever so closely, and I even long for that presence, but its as if I can't obtain it. This may explain my recent lack of spiritual journaling. More later...
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Self-Reflection: HVTEC58 K-Team [Mar. 28th, 2007|11:21 pm]
strivingsoul
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Alverna Center K-Chapel]
[mood |thankfulthankful]

Yet again I have found that I have grown even more when I wasn't expecting it, and was even somewhat closed to it. God has blessed me with humility, trust, and most importantly patience. I the first place, I did not want to work K-team, and was pretty sad that I was not going to be able to interact with the TECites whom I love so much. God and my team has taught me to trust in him even more than I already do...
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